"Let my work be easy, so that I can enjoy easily doing it and calling myself a scientist or sage or enlightened or emperor/empress of the world, or whatever other word I use for the singular meaning 'above the fray' - otherwise I refuse to do it at all but will nonetheless call myself what I demand you let me call myself without doing anything to deserve it, any work of any kind, anything not easy - and that makes sense, obviously, since if I can call myself it without doing any work, making any effort, having any real journey from ignorance to knowledge, then who is anyone to stop me simply sincerely labelling myself it?"
Thrust of argument: There's some simpler, shorter Idries Shah extract, which I must dig up and share herein, to enhance my point.
Direction of resistance / implied resistance: <<From time to time ponder whether you are unconsciously saying:
'Truth is what I happen to be thinking at this moment.'
- Idries Shah, Reflections >>
and the one I was thinking of, this one:
A MOTTO OF THE HUMAN RACE
Tell me what to do; but it must be what I want you to tell me.
- Idries Shah, Caravan of Dreams
Removal of resistance: What am I getting at?
Unification: Well I'm saying that you need to read all that Chomsky, the stuff I posted, the stuff from before and to come again herein. You need to do the work and start to see all the edges of reality the way Chomsky, Feynman and others make it easy for a persistent and tough mind to see, and grasp, and then factor in to how to proceed, in every way.
As for me, the work I must do, as well as going back over a lot of Chomsky and Feynman I know fairly well and have been through many times over recent years, there is Alex Cockburn to finish properly reading and, more importantly, I think, Hubert Harrison the Harlem Radical and Theodore Allen's "The Invention of the White Race". I have left it far too long to look deeper into those two tracts of study. So much to do; who could even begin to climb such a mountain without an algorithm which can generate a profit using effectively zero pounds and zero pence of investment - no doubt thanks to the 'nature of space time continuums'(!) - to take their mind off scarcity and other hindrances to the acquisition of the capacity to deliver the effort required for such a mountain climb.
Furthermore this extract belongs on this page too:
Confusion as a Personal Problem
Q: What can I do about my confusion and worthlessness?
A: People who ask that their confusion be removed should take note of these three points first:
1. They should satisfy themselves that I (or others) have offered to remove confusion, etc. Sufis have not. They therefore have to trace the source of the offer, if any, to remove confusions and apply to whoever has made the offer. If the 'offer' has in fact arisen within the mind of the applicant, he should recognise this.
2. They should note that confusion, etc., may often be a protection. You may not like a fog, but if it is shielding you from a man-eating tiger, it is better to have it. In too many cases people should be giving thanks for their confusions, which are shields, rather than trying to remove them before they are able to face what lies behind.
3. Plenty of people, and this is of course well recognised today, create and maintain their own confusion, even while imagining that they are trying to escape it.
The answer, therefore, to 'what can I do about my confusion?' is, 'Find out what its cause is, and why it is there. Then decide if you want to do anything about it.'
Confusion comes of not paying attention to what should be attended to first. The problem of the confused, therefore, is that they should become aware of this, first using their wits to observe themselves, and think less about confusion. Remember the proverb: 'A sign is enough for the alert, but a thousand counsels are not enough for the negligent.'
As to feeling worthlessness, there are limits to this as there are to the reverse. Saadi has designed this poem, which I translate from Persian for you, to see that the problem is one of perspective
A drop which fell from a rain-cloud
Was disturbed by the extent of the sea:
'Who am I in the ocean's vastness?
If IT is, then indeed I am not!'
While it saw itself with the eye of contempt
A shell nurtured it in its bosom.
The heavens so fostered things
That it became a celebrated, a royal Pearl:
Becoming high from being low
It knocked on the door of nothingness:
Until Being came about.
The Persian poetic convention is that a pearl is a transformed raindrop.
Your confusion is because you are not getting what you want; and your sense of worthlessness is something which you feel you have and do not want. One of the Sufis has remarked, on this same double problem:
'You must strive to be patient both with what you want and what you do not want: for each of them will try you. Exercise both kinds of patience and deserve the human name.'
Learning How to Learn, Idries Shah