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Maybe she was wearing a thong. She coulda had a derringer hidden in it.   Share:  
Thrust of argument: Ralph E. Shaffer writes 'The L A. Police Commission, surprisingly, is at odds with Chief Beck over the actions taken by officers in the death of Ezell Ford. Beck declared the shooting by his officers to be 'within department policy.' The commission rejected his conclusion but took no punitive action. It's time to question the wisdom of a policy that justifies nearly every shooting and other use of excessive force by officers - in the LAPD and elsewhere - by ruling it was 'within department policy.' Here is what might occur at a squad meeting following such an incident:

An uneasy feeling permeated the squad room as half a dozen or so officers waited for Chief Backoff's appearance. They knew the Chief's reprimand would be harsh, biting and very personal. After all, the shooting of a nude woman had never occurred here before. And two of the three cops who pulled the triggers were in the room.

Abruptly the squad room door banged open and Chief Backoff barreled in. The six shiny stars on his collar reflected light from the overhead bulb, which dangled from a wire in the center of the room. The department's Public Information officer entered as well.

'Where's Johnson?' barked Backoff, mentally taking a roll call. Johnson was the third shooter.

'On a donut run. We told him to bring back the gooey ones you like.' Backoff took his place behind a podium, the P I beside him.

'Gentlemen, we have a public relations nightmare. Who shot an unarmed, nude, young, pregnant woman?'

Patrolmen Higgins and Smith meekly admitted their role in the shooting. Backoff asked Higgins to explain how two husky patrolmen had to shoot a woman.

'We had a 9-1-1 call. Domestic violence at a party. Some uninvited woman crashed the affair, nude, and the host couldn't get her to leave. So he called 9-1-1. Chief, I hope they aren't making a racial issue out of this. Two of us are white and the other shooter is black. This was an affirmative action shoot.'

Smith took up the explanation. 'When we got there she was on the lawn. We asked her to leave. She wouldn't, and when she came toward us... we shot.'

'Twelve times?' The Chief's voice expressed disbelief. 'And that's just the shells that hit her. The home owner is still tallying up the damage caused by all the ones that missed her and hit his house.'

'How am I going to sell this to the public?' inquired the P I officer.

Robinson, the rookie of the department, had an idea. 'Say she reached for her waistband. That's one the public always buys.'

Groans from the assemblage. Higgins looked sharply at Robinson, shaking his head. 'The woman was nude.'

'Wait,' said Hopkins. 'Don't dismiss that so easily. Robinson's right. We've used that one in six other fatalities this year and no one ever complains. Maybe she was wearing a thong. She coulda had a derringer hidden in it. If she wasn't, Lothario could say he found a thong near the body. He's got a collection of them. He was the investigating officer. Didn't you find a thong that might have been shot off her by a wayward slug?'

Lothario, ignoring the question, offered his own solution. 'The waistband excuse won't work. How about Higgins and Smith feared for their lives? We've used that one so often that only some pointy-headed professor still complains about it when we roll out that excuse, er... explanation.'

'Good Lord, gentlemen,' roared the Chief. 'You didn't shoot an Amazon. 'Feared for your lives?' The woman was 5' 2" and not an ounce over 110 pounds. And she was pregnant.'

Lothario's face brightened. 'That's it, Chief. We fired to protect the unborn infant. An act of humanity.''.
Direction of resistance / implied resistance: Read more via the link in the references below.


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Removal of resistance: The thong joke deserves an award. Unification: What's most terrifying is that the thugs and cretins Shaffer describes in his little parody there are people who generally consider themselves biologically superior to non white people - and this is where all of humanity's troubles lie today. From climate change and nuclear catastrophe to the wealth gap to sexism and racism (obviously) - it all boils down to this one bunch of idiots and all the trouble in the world which they manage to brew.
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